| Location | Newcastle - Under - Lyme |
| Age | 13 days |
| Date of Birth | 17/11/2007 |
| Date of Death | 30/11/2007 |
| Visitors | 11,416 since 11/01/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
★ Brayden Jay Hawkes ★
I feel so lost without our special little boy our hearts have been broken forever. He was our long
awaited & very much wanted precious son.
He was so very brave and strong. His name even means brave . x x x
His mummy and daddy are so proud of him, miss him terribly and wish he was here.
I was so happy I was pregnant, and we were both over the moon when we found out. We then went for
our scan around 20 weeks and that’s when we found out Brayden had a condition called congenital
diaphragmatic hernia. We were devastated, the consultant explained that Brayden had a hole in his
diaphragm and that his stomach had gone up into chest, restricting his lung growth. She said that it
is a very serious condition and that he could have other things wrong with him. We came home in
shock and very upset. We decided to have amniocentesis test and thankfully there was nothing else
wrong with our son. We were then referred to Birmingham Women’s hospital, I had regular scans
(even MRI scan) and they said that Brayden had a good chance of survival 70% because his liver had
stayed below his diaphragm which was one less thing restricting his lung growth. This was the most
positive news we had been given and we started to feel things were looking brighter for our little
boy.
After a difficult labour and needing an emergency Caesarean Section our son was born 17.11.07 11.11
am. I was so scared and worried about our little boy, he did a little cry when born which we
didn’t expect with him struggling to breathe. They took him down to the neonatal unit and put him
on the ventilator. I was taken to the recovery room and I was in shock, I wanted to go to my baby
but couldn’t because I had an epidural and couldn’t move my legs. Adam went down to see him and
he took some pictures to show me, he looked gorgeous even though he had lots of wires over him.
I finally got to see my little boy at about 11pm, the consultant said that Brayden wasn’t
responding well to the treatment he was given but thankfully he started to improve. My heart went in
my stomach being told that, I couldn’t even think about losing him yet! He was so gorgeous and
chubby; no wonder I couldn’t get him out! I could never describe the horrible feeling of seeing
your baby so helpless; all I wanted to do was give him a cuddle. The tears started flowing everyday,
I kept praying please let him get better.
He started to improve nearly everyday and was stable enough to have his operation. We were then
transferred to Birmingham Childrens Hospital.
He pulled through his operation and they started to wake him up slowly. This would be the time when
Brayden would need to be his strongest. It was lovely to see his big eyes, and to stroke his soft
skin. He would grab my fingers and I didn’t want to let go. We talked to him all the time, telling
him how brave and strong he is, and that he would get loads of cuddles of kisses when better.
Brayden was doing most of his own breathing and doing really well. He was started to gag on his tube
down his throat and being sick, it was so distressing to see my baby like this but the nurses said
it was normal. He would do his silent cry and frown, I felt so helpless. The nurses then decided to
change his ventilation tube to go down his nose, it would be better for Brayden and be more
comfortable. This is when Brayden started to take steps back.
Brayden was now back on all his machines from when he was first born, we knew that this wasn’t
good but we always tried to stay positive. The doctors kept saying it’s unusual for him to be
doing so well and then to be really poorly, they had taken samples to check for infection. It was
heartbreaking to see Brayden so poorly, he looked so pale and fed up.
We then had the horrible call on 30.11.07 at 2.36am saying that Brayden had got even worse. We
rushed over to the hospital, I felt so sick my heart was racing. His stats were the lowest we had
ever seen, I think by then we knew we were going to lose him. We had him christened; he was taken of
his ventilator and went asleep in our arms.
We later found out that Brayden had pneumonia, it was the worst infection he could have got with
having poorly lungs anyway. I keep thinking if he didn’t get this he would still be here today.
We love and miss him so much, he was only with us for 13 days but will be forever in our hearts.
Missed and loved by; Mummy, Daddy, Nana, Popsy, nannie, grandad, big nannie, great grandad, Auntie
Kirsty, Auntie Gemma, Uncle Kieran, Uncle Matt, Uncle Sam, Cousins Lottie & Lyla
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'A Pair of Shoes'
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child
22ND MARCH 2009
♥ † ♥ Mother's Day ♥ † ♥
There are a special group of women
Who you might not know or recognize
They are the ones on Mother's Day
With big tears in their eyes.
Some might have children that you see
but what you don't know
Is that they also have children
that only they can see.
They can see them in a special way
That way is as an Angel
For what you don't understand is
They have all seen, felt, or held an Angel.
Mother's Day is their day too
Try to see that fact
That their hearts are full of pain
Because you too
Didn't see their Angel.
Happy Mother's Day
to all the Moms who have
seen, felt, or held an Angel.
Love,
♥ † ♥ Your Angel in Heaven ♥ † ♥
Dear Mr. Hallmark
I am writing to you from Heaven
And though it must appear
A rather strange idea
I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit
Your shops to find a card
A card of love for my Mum
As this day for her is hard.
There must be some mistake I thought
Every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card
From a child who lives in Heaven.
She is still a Mother too
No matter where I reside
I had to leave she understands
But oh the tears she cried.
I thought that if I wrote to you
That you would come to know
That though I live in Heaven now
I still love my Mummy so.
She talks with me and dreams with me
We still share laughter too
Prayers are our way of speaking now
Would you see what you can do?
My Mum carries me in her heart
Her tears she hides from sight
She thinks of me and misses me
Sometimes far into the night.
She plants flowers in her garden
There my memory dwells
She helps other grieving parents
Trying to ease their pain as well.
So you see Mr. Hallmark
Though I no longer live on earth
I must try to find a way
To remind her of her worth.
She needs to be honoured
And remembered too
Just like children on earth
For their Mums today do.
Thank you Mr. Hallmark
I know you’ll do your best
I have done all I can do
To you I’ll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her
How much she means to me
Until I can do it myself
When we’re joined in Eternity.
our little sunshine x xx x
Hello beautiful boy, I know you shall be my with your mummy tommorow giving her big cuddles and kisses keep shining your love down angel, your are the most perfect little boy, i love you so much my special nephew, special auntie kisses and big fat cuddles x xx x
Morning Brayden
Morning Brayden, came in to see Kierney and couldnt not come and say hello to you ( its too big to light a candle tho lol):D Hope your having lots of fun playing with the other little angels hunni, and I bet your excited about getting a little brother? Congrats to you all, its awesome news xox I love the name thats been chosen for him...Corben, it's so beautiful, and Jay.....thats my middles sons name lol, so of course I love that name too lol :D
Congrats again on your awesome news, you all must be so excited (scared at the same time) but Im sure that Brayden will be there with you all making it even more special! Take care, big huggies, Chelle xoxox
Big cuddley cuddles beautiful x xx x
Love you and miss you so much angel, you are our gorgeous little cutie, big kisses for each of your lil chubby cheeks, love you with all my heart.
Lottie and Lyla love you so much, they blow you so many kisses.
nitie nite beautiful boy, big cuddley cuddles and lots of kisses x xx x x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x
Beautiful Angel
Nite Nite beautiful Brayden you are a lovely angel brayden i am sending you some love up to heaven i saw a beautiful rainbow today and i just thought of my little angel and all his angel freinds painting it up in heaven hope you were painting it to brayden beacause it was just as beautiful as you godnight sweetheart wrap your angel wing around you mummy and daddy and give them your love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Happy Valentines day beautiful. xxx
We have got a red heart shaped balloon which is by your tree, i hope you like it. We are going to tidy up your tree & swap your teddy bear statue around, so the one we got for your 1st Birthday will be by your tree.
Thankyou for looking after Corban, he has such a special big brother looking after him. We have decided his middle name will be Jay, just like yours. So he will always have a part of his special big brother in his name. We had a 4D scan this week & was so lovely to see your lil bro in detail, hes got chubby cheeks like yours, he was doing lots of posing & it made me & daddy giggle.
I hope your o.k sweetheart, we love & miss you lots.
Lots of squishy valentines cuddles & floaty kisses.
Mummy xxxx
Brayden Jay xxx
Our Beautiful grandson and nephew, Hi honey bun you are 14 1/2 months old now(how fast and slow has the time gone by) I know you had lots of fun playing with daddy, mummy and rufus in the snow and also making your snowman, oh and not to forget getting messy making yummy biscuits with mummy and daddy. You are our shining star, love, cuddles and kisses Popsy, Nana and Uncle Kieran xxxxxx
Beautiful Brayden x xx x x xx x
Hello my little cutie, i know i don't come on here as often as i used to, but you are never ever out my thoughts.
I love you so much, your my very special nephew. Have you been throwing snow balls, and making snow men? I bet you have been sprinkling lots of beautiful angel flakes on mummy and daddy,
love you baby, our little sunshine lots of special auntie cuddles and big fat sloppy kisses x xx x xx x x xx x
Our special angel . xxx
We are going to scotland in a weeks time & we are looking forward to a nice break together.
I hope it snows, i know if it did rufus would go crazy! & you would make beautiful snow angels.
I hope your are o.k sweetheart & are being looked after like a lil prince, i think about you everyday & it breaks my heart your not here.
I hope your lil brother starts to give me big kicks soon, he doesnt seem as active as you used to be. I think hes found your favourite spot though, under my ribs!
love you so much.
mummy xxxx
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