| Location | Newcastle - Under - Lyme |
| Age | 13 days |
| Date of Birth | 17/11/2007 |
| Date of Death | 30/11/2007 |
| Visitors | 11,392 since 11/01/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
★ Brayden Jay Hawkes ★
I feel so lost without our special little boy our hearts have been broken forever. He was our long
awaited & very much wanted precious son.
He was so very brave and strong. His name even means brave . x x x
His mummy and daddy are so proud of him, miss him terribly and wish he was here.
I was so happy I was pregnant, and we were both over the moon when we found out. We then went for
our scan around 20 weeks and that’s when we found out Brayden had a condition called congenital
diaphragmatic hernia. We were devastated, the consultant explained that Brayden had a hole in his
diaphragm and that his stomach had gone up into chest, restricting his lung growth. She said that it
is a very serious condition and that he could have other things wrong with him. We came home in
shock and very upset. We decided to have amniocentesis test and thankfully there was nothing else
wrong with our son. We were then referred to Birmingham Women’s hospital, I had regular scans
(even MRI scan) and they said that Brayden had a good chance of survival 70% because his liver had
stayed below his diaphragm which was one less thing restricting his lung growth. This was the most
positive news we had been given and we started to feel things were looking brighter for our little
boy.
After a difficult labour and needing an emergency Caesarean Section our son was born 17.11.07 11.11
am. I was so scared and worried about our little boy, he did a little cry when born which we
didn’t expect with him struggling to breathe. They took him down to the neonatal unit and put him
on the ventilator. I was taken to the recovery room and I was in shock, I wanted to go to my baby
but couldn’t because I had an epidural and couldn’t move my legs. Adam went down to see him and
he took some pictures to show me, he looked gorgeous even though he had lots of wires over him.
I finally got to see my little boy at about 11pm, the consultant said that Brayden wasn’t
responding well to the treatment he was given but thankfully he started to improve. My heart went in
my stomach being told that, I couldn’t even think about losing him yet! He was so gorgeous and
chubby; no wonder I couldn’t get him out! I could never describe the horrible feeling of seeing
your baby so helpless; all I wanted to do was give him a cuddle. The tears started flowing everyday,
I kept praying please let him get better.
He started to improve nearly everyday and was stable enough to have his operation. We were then
transferred to Birmingham Childrens Hospital.
He pulled through his operation and they started to wake him up slowly. This would be the time when
Brayden would need to be his strongest. It was lovely to see his big eyes, and to stroke his soft
skin. He would grab my fingers and I didn’t want to let go. We talked to him all the time, telling
him how brave and strong he is, and that he would get loads of cuddles of kisses when better.
Brayden was doing most of his own breathing and doing really well. He was started to gag on his tube
down his throat and being sick, it was so distressing to see my baby like this but the nurses said
it was normal. He would do his silent cry and frown, I felt so helpless. The nurses then decided to
change his ventilation tube to go down his nose, it would be better for Brayden and be more
comfortable. This is when Brayden started to take steps back.
Brayden was now back on all his machines from when he was first born, we knew that this wasn’t
good but we always tried to stay positive. The doctors kept saying it’s unusual for him to be
doing so well and then to be really poorly, they had taken samples to check for infection. It was
heartbreaking to see Brayden so poorly, he looked so pale and fed up.
We then had the horrible call on 30.11.07 at 2.36am saying that Brayden had got even worse. We
rushed over to the hospital, I felt so sick my heart was racing. His stats were the lowest we had
ever seen, I think by then we knew we were going to lose him. We had him christened; he was taken of
his ventilator and went asleep in our arms.
We later found out that Brayden had pneumonia, it was the worst infection he could have got with
having poorly lungs anyway. I keep thinking if he didn’t get this he would still be here today.
We love and miss him so much, he was only with us for 13 days but will be forever in our hearts.
Missed and loved by; Mummy, Daddy, Nana, Popsy, nannie, grandad, big nannie, great grandad, Auntie
Kirsty, Auntie Gemma, Uncle Kieran, Uncle Matt, Uncle Sam, Cousins Lottie & Lyla
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'A Pair of Shoes'
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child
Happy Birthday Angel - by Ingrid Aspey
Brayden today on your Birthday we wish you love
And hope you are happy in heaven above
I hope you and your friends are having lots of fun
Bouncing on the clouds and playing happily in the sun
When it’s time for your tea there is plenty of cake
That all the kind Angels did lovingly bake
With two candles upon it to mark your Birthday
We wish you were here but you couldn’t stay
Your Family all miss and dearly love you
They are thinking of you and sending lots of love too
When your party is over and you’re tucked into bed
Dream sweet dreams of them as you lay down your head
Happy Birthday Lots of Love and Kisses to You XX
Copyright© Ingrid Aspey 2009
To our Beautiful Grandson & Nephew Brayden Jay On your 2nd Birthday xx
Happy Birthday little man,We know you are having a lovely party with all the family and all your little angel friends.
Your cake is shaped as a number 2 with chocolate, rainbow smarties, and star sparkler's on it.
Your our shining star, you shine so bright in our hearts every second of every day.
Love, cuddles and kisses
Popsy, Nana, & Uncle Kieran
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* Happy 2nd Birthday Precious *
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----------{~*~*~*~BIRTHDAY~*~*~*}
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------{~*~*~*~*~*BRAYDEN~*~*~*~*~}
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Have a lovely party with all you special friends today
Sending Love {{hugs}} & floaty kisses
Love Lorraine & Sam x x x x x x
Happy 2nd Birthday to our beautiful boy XxXxX
Well i cant believe another whole year has passed & you are 2,
i bet your such a big boy now playing with all your special angel friends in the fluffy white clouds.
We have made you a lovely number 2 birthday cake but its mostly in our tummys now : ) I wanted to pretend that I had made it all but your nana made the sponge cake & i just got all sticky decorating it ; ) i hope you liked it too & all got all messy.
We are going to chester aquariam tomorrow & i know you will be by our sides looking at the bright coloured fish like Nemo & Dorey, corban will love it.
Enjoy your special balloons tomorrow for you to play with all day.
Just wish there was more we could do for you, Words cant describe the pain we feel each day but what gets us through is knowing how brave you are.
All our love Mummy, Daddy, Corban & silly Rufus. xxxxxx
Birthday.
Dear Brayden,
I have such a busy day tomorrow with work and college i thought i would come on to say a special happy 2nd birthday for tomorrow. Its such a special day but is also such a hard day because you arent with us. Mummy and Daddy are so strong and im sure your very proud of them. The video is so special they shared some of thir most treasured moments with us. Im sure you will have a ball up there in the angel garden and i bet mummy, daddy and corban will be sending you some ballons so have fun playing with them. Love you lots and lots sending the floating kisses and cuddles upto you as im sure your sending them all back down to us. Have fun on you birthday.
Lots of Love
Sarah , Tom ,Annie and cian
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The Brightest Star In The Sky, You Shine Through Every Rainbow...Our Beautiful Little Sunshine Brayden x xx x
Sweetie I know you have been sprinkling all of your angel bubbles full of cuddles, kisses and bursting with love all for your mummy, daddy and corban on your mummy's birthday.
We all LOVE YOU SO MUCH.......... Our special little angel is 2 tomorrow, did you get covered in lots of sticky chocolate? mummy put lots on your cake yummy all for your tummy.
I love you pudding, special auntie cuddles and kisses for my gorgeous nephew, love and cuddles from Uncle Matt, and lots of squishy cuddles and smoochy kisses from lottie and lyla x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x
Wave of Light - 15/09/09
Candles are a gift of light
A tiny sun
A bit of star.
No other dancer in the night
Dances with such sheer delight
Each a glimpse of what we are
Shining innocent and pure.
Love to you and all your family precious angel xxxx
Life's A Climb - Miley Cyrus
I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreaming, but
there's a voice inside of my head, tellin' me
"You'll never reach it"
every step I'm takin'
every move I make
feels lost in no direction,
my faith is shakin'
but I gotta keep tryin'
gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
always gonna be an uphill battle
sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
ain't about how fast I get there
ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
it's a climb
The struggles I'm facing
the changes I'm taking
sometimes they knock me down, but
no I'm not breaking
I may not know where, but
these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most
I've just gotta keep goin', and
I gotta be strong
just keep pushing on, but
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
always gonna be an uphill battle
sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
ain't about how fast I get there
ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
it's a climb
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
always gonna be an uphill battle
sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
ain't about how fast I get there
ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
it's a climb
Keep on movin'
keep climbin'
keep faith baby
It's all about, it's all about
the climb
keep the faith, keep your faith!
My Dear Family xx
It's me again from Heaven
With a message from above
Feel my spirit all around you
As I sprinkle you with love...
***********
I have watched you, as your tears flow
I have heard your silent screams
I know you sleep with visions
Of me visiting your dreams...
***********
I have come and sat beside you
Placed my hands upon your face
Wiped away the many teardrops
I so wish I could erase...
***********
I have watched you every day now
Seen such pain within your eyes
I just wish that there were some way
I could help you realise...
***********
I am happy up in Heaven
In this peaceful loving place
Where I will be here waiting
To welcome you with my embrace...
***********
You will join me here in Heaven
When your time comes you’ll see
Leave your Earthly cares behind you
Travel on to where you’re free...
**********
I have heard you ask to go now
But there is more for you to do
I promise I'll be waiting
When your time on earth is through ...
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